October 24, 2011

Willy Wonka & The Three Sheets Of Stink

I loaned my copy of the Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory DVD to a friend years ago. I hadn't watched it since she returned it. Yesterday, I was in the mood to watch the film, and it turns out she had totally scratched the shit out of the disk. It looked like she'd been carrying it around in a sack of thumbtacks and steel wool. I tried to play it, but the disk freezes up a few minutes into the film. I wish I could be content streaming it online, but the disk-only commentary track with the actors who played the kids is spectacular.

Coincidentally, a 40th anniversary version of the film was released last Tuesday. The DVD was only 10 bucks, so fine, I bought it. It's the exact same disk I had, just different packaging. To try and trick you into thinking you're getting something special, they've stuffed three sheets of scratch and sniff stickers inside. They smell just like those awful scented candles at the dollar store: that ultra-sweet, ultra-chemically, headachy, flowery toxic-candy stink. Most of the images on the stickers are banal, but check this out. Here's a scan of one of the sheets. What's with the creepy image of Augustus Gloop stuck in the tube at the lower right? Click to enlarge.

So, okay, fine, if they want to play that game, let's go all the way, man. ALL THE FUCKING WAY! Consider printing these out on a sticker sheet and sticking them all over your Dad's feet and oily forehead when he passes out in the la-z-boy.

October 18, 2011


Original + Special Edition.

October 15, 2011

Dick Versus Dick

A friend had the first one posted on her blog. I've been threatening to make a new blog of my own called Hot Porn Ruined By Dick Cheney, so...