August 31, 2008

F'd Puppet of the Week

I found these on Flickr. They are done by a six year old kid. I love them. There is something folksy about them, but they are still fairly sophisticated drawings for that age. I also love that he is doing paper bag puppets. Check out the rest of them at

Crap Without Context #5

August 30, 2008

August 29, 2008

August 28, 2008

Let's all plunge to our Icy Death! Weee!!!

If the rental place is all out of the play tent shaped like a gas chamber from Auschwitz, you can get this instead. The Titanic, iceberg and sinking ship fun slide combo. Made in China - of course. What kind of theme party would you order this for? Great moments in human suffering?

The #1 Combo with a small Fry

At 2:20 Billy Barty does an impression of Liberace.

Crap Without Context #2

August 27, 2008

August 24, 2008

F'd Puppt of the Week 8/24/08

I guess it's the implications of sex that make this creepy. These women are seriously considering having sexual intercourse with a ventriloquist dummy.

August 22, 2008

PIZZA TEEN! Readers Poll Results

QUESTION: Your 12th-level Magic-User discovers a "Raise Dead" scroll while exploring the dungeon lair of the Bugbear. Based purely on the blurred images above, which corpse do you choose to reanimate?

  • A 28%
  • B 14%
  • C 28%
  • D 28%
And now for the reveal!
  • A = Benito Mussolini
  • B = Andre The Giant
  • C = Richard Nixon
  • D = Fred "Rerun" Berry
As the Dungeon Master, I rule that your collective indecisiveness results in the following: They all remain dead. Be sure to vote in the current poll!

August 19, 2008

Ronnie oder Klaus?

Ronnie James Dio ist eine Heavy Metal-Superstar! Ronnie ist cool! er ermöglicht fotos mit fans! Aber, Klaus Meine singt für die SCORPIONS! Sie sind wunderbar! Er ist auch cool mit fans! Klaus ist kurz! nur 163 Zentimeter groß! (5 '4 ") Ronnie ist AUCH 163 Zentimeter! Eine kleine Puppe! Wer ist besser? Ronnie oder Klaus? Ronnie.... ...oder Klaus?

August 13, 2008

PIZZA TEEN! Readers Poll Results

QUESTION: Based solely upon the anonymous photos above, which individual was once arrested by the Dallas County Sheriff's Department for "illicit solicitation of a minor"?

  • A 16%
  • B 0%
  • C 83%
  • D 0%
  • None of the above
And now for the reveal!
  • A = Art Carney
  • B = Mary Lou Retton
  • C = Rod Stewart
  • D = Karen Carpenter
And the answer? None of the above! Be sure to vote in the current poll!

August 10, 2008

F'd Puppet of the Week 8/10/08

The Olympics, American Style.

August 08, 2008

Calder's Circus, 1926-1931

Always makes a visit to the Whitney Museum in New York worth while.

August 05, 2008

A PIZZA TEEN! WTF?! Photo Of The Day

Excellent work, mysterious vandal! This subtle master stroke is currently on display for a limited engagement at the 45th Road/Court House Square #7 subway platform in Long Island City, Queens.

PIZZA TEEN! Readers Poll Results

QUESTION: Stare deep into Rasputin's eyes, peasant! Tell me what darkness unfolds within your mind!

  • Doc Severinsen and the NBC Orchestra teaching grade school kids how to huff gas! 44%
  • Kirk, Spock and McCoy making out with your Dad! 33%
  • Tiger Woods and Martha Raye ferociously biting one another over the last diet Dr. Pepper! 22%
  • Tom Robinson busting up a chifferobe with the carcass of an oompa loompa! 0%
Be sure to vote in the current poll!

Is Better Off Dead An Under-The-Radar Sequel To Fast Times At Ridgement High?

Consider the evidence:

  1. Actress Amanda Wyss: ball-busting girlfriend in FTARH, ball-busting girlfriend in BOD.
  2. Actor Vincent Schiavelli: eccentric teacher in FTARH, eccentric teacher in BOD.
  3. Actor Taylor Negron: Pizza delivery guy with a shitty attitude in FTARH, mail delivery guy with a shitty attitude in BOD.
  4. Both films utilize Darlene Love's performance of "Winter Wonderland."
Hmmm. Pure coincidence...or deliberate?

August 04, 2008

F'd Puppet of the Week 8/3/08

With all the crap I am dealing with right now I was none to fired up for the trip to Cirque du Soleil that my sister had planed for today, but I succumbed to the welcome break from reality, and all the lights, colors and wonders I saw today have me in a milder, melancholy mood. So I offer up this sweet little gem of the famous and rather dull puppet circus from the 1950's. It's like when I was finishing college and used to come home from class and watch "Saved by the Bell". Sometimes you just want to let your brain veg-out. Enjoy.

August 01, 2008

New High Score On Tron: 187,870!

Seems fitting that it should take me 26 goddamn years and an actual bootleged preview of the film's oft rumored sequel before I finally-- FINALLY! -- hit the painfully elusive "USER" level of the game. This was played on M.A.M.E. with the Tron rom set 1. I used to haul my mom's empty glass bottles of RC up to 7-Eleven in the rain on my Murray BMX bike just so I could score enough change for three or four games of Tron at Galaxy World in Carol Stream, Illinois. Here's a video of the game for those who have never seen it in action.