The Ghostface Killah Doll

For only $499, this could be the perfect christmas gift for that special someone in your life. With jewelry made of 14k gold and a digital player that recites actual lines from the man himself (the four honest-to-god recordings are, "I put in em shot up in em deadly venom", "ghostface ghostface", "remember when I long dicked you and broke your ovary" and "yo bitch I fucked your friend ya stank ho") along with the all-important certificate of authenticity, enclosed in a cardboard box "that has remnants of fine Louis XIII cognac". Buy It Now! Brought to attention by the onion.com's gift guide.